Paris - City of Lights, Love, Art... and the usual Chaos

I've said before that easily one of the top benefits of being anywhere in North West Europe is that you're so relatively close to so many other cool spots. And in most cases there's a high speed train to whisk you to whatever destination you'd like. Dusseldorf is just such a location. Just a few hours from dozens of the best spots to visit. Whether you're looking for history, tech, nightlife, architecture, relaxation, beer, wine, or just looking to confuse the language center of your brain as much as possible, it's all very close, and with little more effort than hoisting your suitcase onto the train.

Since we did happen to be as close as we were, we figured a trip to Paris was necessary. While the kids wouldn't remember most of what we did, we figured they'd remember at least a few very cool things, and it's much more of an big kids city anyhow. I'd been to Paris several times before during my time in the Air Force stationed in SW Germany, but Christina had never been. Luckily we were able to pull my Sister and her family along with us to make it one big crazy adventure, as they'd never been before either. 

So first things first. Where do 8 people in the lower tax brackets stay in a city full of shoebox sized apartments and very proudly priced hotel rooms? We were somehow able to find an apartment that would sleep all of us with only the slightest degree of co-bunking. Then again, as small as he is, Nathaniel ends up controlling quite a large proportion of a mattress space. But sleeping battles aside, we ended up in a single Air BnB apartment that we made work. It's always interesting what you're going to get with an Air BnB listing, as we've mentioned a bit before. And as always, for some reason the Coffee Gods were once again displeased with us for some reason. We were provided with a very fancy pod style Nespresso coffee maker, but no matter how hard we searched at how many stores we were unable to find any pods that would actually fit in the damn thing and produce coffee. So this makes the 3rd Air BnB in a row for us that a decent large cup of coffee was a greater struggle than it really needed to be. But otherwise the place wasn't too bad. In fact, we were really impressed that the place had three showers only to find that two of them were basically not sealed and dumped water all over the floor. So back to one shower for 4 adults. Luckily I'm blessed with a light, airy, lavender-like aroma most of the time so we were able to cut down from the normal usage.

As I mentioned in the intro, the absolute best way to travel the larger cities in Europe is the trains. The train/tram/bus systems within cities and countries themselves can vary quite a bit, however if you're simply traveling from one large city to another then you're almost sure to find a frequent route for not much more, and often much less, than you'd pay for gas, parking, inevitable tickets for who knows what, and perhaps even damage to your car or someone else's due to bad parking or horribly erratic driving on streets that were never designed for anything larger than a horse carriage or two. So we got our train tickets, and were even able to get all our seat reservations right next to each other in a separated cabin. The ride to Paris from Dusseldorf is a touch over 2 hours if you can get a straight shot, so it's not bad at all. 

Once you get into Paris after your 300km/hr train ride (Whoa), your next step is probably taking one of the Metro lines to wherever you're staying. Back in the mid-2000s when I spent time in Paris this was a fairly straight forward operation. Buy your 1,2,3 day ticket, figure out what line you need to take, and in which direction. Insert your ticket into the machine, it spits it back out for you, and the turnstile or gate opens up and you're on your way to exploring Paris in all its...  magnificence I suppose. It seems the Paris Metro system tried to get all fancy and digitize their system, half-assed it, and then just decided not to fix it. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt (a little) because the 4 of us were trying to make this work while not speaking the language and using US based bank info. So the Metro system has an App, of course, that when it works is excellent. Mine was the only one that really worked. Ideally what happens is you buy your unlimited day or two or three or whatever ticket online using the App. The turnstiles/gates have a place to tap your phone and they'll communicate, determine that you have a valid ticket, and Bing! You're through. I could swipe my phone while it was still in my stylish, practical, and damn sexy SATCHEL and it would work just fine. Christina, who has almost the same phone I do, had to have her phone open onto the App, and have the ticket selected on the front screen for it to work right, and it still took a few attempts most of the time. 

My Sister and her Husband couldn't even get the App to work properly on their phones for some silly reason, as there's aren't that much different from ours. Again maybe there was a language barrier there or something, as I'm pretty sure I saw a guy Bing in through a set of turnstiles using an ancient Nokia tank phone. So unfortunately they were stuck buying paper tickets when we needed to get somewhere. And apparently these work about half the time as well. Some nice person who stopped to help at one of our confusion-ridden Metro stops said that the magnetic coding on the tickets can be corrupted or wiped by all sorts of things like cell phones, credit cards, or even other tickets. So again I'd like to thank the Paris Metro system for doing almost the very least to make sure people can get around their city hassle free. Then again with as many people as I saw jumping turnstiles and pushing ticketed passengers through gates so they could fit through as well, clearly there must not be much disincentive for just never buying any tickets period. I mentioned this as an alternative, but was told it would set a bad example for the kids or something...

Sooooo.... now you've arrived in Paris, taken the Metro to your coffee forsaken living arrangement, and now you're ready for all the sights, sounds....  smells.... that the City of Lights has to offer! I hope you've packed a lunch, because as much as I'm not particularly a fan of Paris, I have to admit there are so many amazing things to see and do here that you'd have a hard time feeling like you'd accomplished half of them in a month's time. Hell I've spent multiple days at a time just in the Louvre! Now if you're able to make an itinerary without having to factor in 3 year olds, then you're probably going to be able to fit in a few more items. For example, unless you just hate other people, and wouldn't mind seeing priceless art pieces destroyed, there's no way you're taking 2 three year olds to the Louvre. However, there are quite a few things they think are as cool as you do. 

One of these attractions is obviously the Eifel Tower. Is it cliché and extremely touristy to go to the Eifel Tower? Yup. Is it still an amazing feat of engineering and architecture, that provides an unmatched view of the city? Also Yup. So we definitely wanted to take all the kids up to the top of that giant lightning rod. Now when I was here before the entire area was wide open, there were two elevators going up to the mid level, and you could just hike up the stairs if you didn't want to take an elevator. It seems things have changed a bit, and not for the better. I'm going to guess this was all Covid precautions, but only because it kinda makes sense, and I didn't bother to actually look it up. This time... there was a giant iron fence around the entire base of the tower, and there were two entrances where you would get your bags checked, and your Covid test/vax status scanned. Unfortunately for us, they're also in the process of stripping (Paris afterall...) and painting the tower, so one of the corners that usually has an elevator is not open right now. This makes for one very long line to go up the single elevator, and one slightly smaller line to climb the stairs. Probably spent 20-30min in the line outside to get checked, and then another 2-2.5hrs in line for the elevator. And I must be honest, the kids got through it with only minor meltdowns, so very proud of them for that. 

After all that we finally hitched a ride on the elevator up to the mid level, and waited in another line to get onto the elevator up to the very top. Why 2 elevators? If you look at the Eifel tower, the legs up to the middle section are diagonal, as is the elevator that moves through those legs. The higher elevator just goes straight up and down through the center. So there are actually two different types of elevators, it's not just for fun. The top of the Eifel Tower is definitely worth the craziness we went through. It's very high, and offers a 360 degree view of Paris. From that high up you can see nearly every other landmark and tourist attraction in the city! Not that the kids cared of course, but since it was our first real stop for the trip it was fun being able to show everyone where they'd be going the next few days. The kids mostly just found other tall stuff to look at, or campaigned unsuccessfully for money to make the giant binoculars work. We were probably up top for 10-15 min before the kids decided they'd seen enough and were over it. That's pretty par for the course for them though. So we got back on the elevator downward. We stopped very quickly to look through the gift shop on the mid level, and had to leave fairly quickly as space is limited there and its layout definitely isn't mini-hulk friendly. So we ended up back down below, and made our way back out onto the streets, where we were again met with only minor harassment from all the tacky souvenir vendors. 

Mealtimes at our apartment left a bit to be desired. But not for a lack of skill or desire to cook. Unfortunately to outfit an entire kitchen to cook meals worthy of a stay in Paris would be at the very least prohibitively expensive. So most of the prep we did was for breakfasts, as that is definitely one meal that most of Europe has not quite gotten the hang of yet. For all the culinary mastery this continent is responsible for, I can't figure out why they don't seem to want to practice it during the first half of the day. I'm not even sure how they seem to survive on Cigarettes, Coffee, and perhaps a Croissant, but somehow they make it work. From my experience the further you get away from rural type communities and into more urban settings, the worse the breakfast gets. I guess maybe it's that way in the US as well, but I've never really spent much time in Urban settings there, so maybe this is a universal thing. All I can say is that I very much admire the way they appreciate breakfast in Ireland and nearby

Aside from breakfast we only made dinner a couple of times, as a full dinner for 8 people, and including 4 appetite wildcard children, can get tricky. Often we'd utilize what has seemingly become a staple in European cities; the restaurant delivery service. Now again this might be a very normal thing in the cities in the US, and I'm just now emerging from my rural mountain living rock. But I had no idea how expansive and prolific this industry was. And in a city like Paris, with so many residents from literally all over an entire hemisphere of the planet, the choices of food delivery options were astounding. Food specialties from all over Europe of course, but Africa, all corners of Asia, island cultures. If you can find it on a map, there's a good chance you can get it delivered to your door in 30-45 minutes. It's seriously impressive. The only exception I'll provide for that statement is if it would be conceivably difficult for a certain culture's people to make their way to France, from say... North/South America, there's a chance the offerings from that culture might be a bit lacking. This is not a highly researched hypothesis mind you. Basically one night we were craving some Mexican food, and the Single option for Mexican food left quite a bit to be desired. I've made better Mexican food. I'm just saying it's a factor to keep in mind, lol.

Let's see... we've covered some sights, some locomotion tips, some food acquisition issues, what's left?? Oh, ok, how about What's Paris Like?!? Well, Paris is always one of those places that Everybody seems to have an idea about. Whether their vision is Romantic Coffee Shops, Breathtaking Scenery and Architecture, Endless Cultural and Historical Collections and Experiences, there are so many different sides to Paris that I do think it's a place everyone should probably try to visit... Once. I have to be honest here, this was my 4th trip to Paris, and I'm not a huge fan. There are so many amazing things to see here, and I've heard the food and wine and cheese and all that is tough to beat. But all the Paris in between those things kinda ruins it for me. I think just like any other place, when you pack a huge amount of various types of people into a relatively small space like the streets of Paris, you're going to get an equally various amount of unsavoriness. I don't like tarnishing the reputation of an entire city of course, but there are some pretty stark reasons why it's not my favorite place. Perhaps I'm just being touchy, and my reasons are just overblown frustrations or observations. But they've been echoed and reinforced by others, so maybe Paris just needs to get its act together on a few issues. If you're planning a trip, just please be prepared to experience ALL of Paris, and not just the Glitz and Glam of the Louvre and the Champs d' Elysée. 

Well, this turned into a pretty long post, and I didn't even get to quite a few of the things we did. I may have to publish a couple addendums if readers would like a bit more. Overall I'd tell you to absolutely visit Paris if you've never done it. You will not regret it. But I think you also won't be judged to harshly if you don't particularly desire to return. At least not by me...